I'm Back

Dear Laurel,

I have quietly resurfaced here at your blog.  Although I think now, it will take on a new tone.  On and off since you were born, I've been writing you (and later Jack) letters.  Some are on my computer, some on my iPad, and my fear is that if I'm ever not around to tell you where to find them, then you won't.  Find them.  So I've decided to come back to the blog.  Only as a spot for you and possibly your brother, although maybe he'll get his own.  I haven't decided yet.  Hopefully, from this point on, you'll be able to find your letter.  For now, I think it's public, but maybe at some point I can change that.

I wanted to make sure to get in a quick letter today because it was your first day of Kindergarten.  Only 8 to 12 today, eventually until 2:20.  You started at New Horizons Elementary School in Ms. Jane's class.  I knew we picked a great school for you, but today I'm POSITIVE that this is the right spot for you.  You didn't tell us too much about your day, but I picked up bits and pieces.  I can just tell.  This is going to be great.  But that doesn't mean it wasn't hard for me.  Harder, in every way, than I thought it would be.  I'm so proud of you, but still sad.  Today marked the first day of a routine that will take up at least the next 12 years of your life.  That seems so BIG.  And so grown up.  And a little bit sad.  If I really get to thinking, it's like a teeny bit of your youth and innocence is leaving today.  The "real world" will start to become clear to you.  It won't all be about toys and fun.  And that's a good thing, mostly.  But I'm still sad.  I know all parents say it, but I can so clearly remember the day you were born.  And that first day we walked you into preschool.  You didn't cry.  You didn't look back.  You went right in. So brave.  And I watched you play happily through the window.  You were the same way today.  Only slightly more hesitant to have us leave you, but ready.  I am so proud.

You are amazing and smart and kind and hilarious and sassy and lovely and compassionate and mostly, you are loved.  You and I butt heads sometimes.  But that is only because we are so much alike.  And I really do understand you...even when you think I don't.  I'm PROUD that you stand up for yourself and you know what you want.

I love you my big Kindergartener and am so proud to be your mommy!!

I love you!!

Mommy